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u think thats romantic..hahahahahahahahahahahaha [15 Feb 2005|01:15pm]
[ mood | sick ]

ive had the flu for like 2 days and i swear it feels like a truck broke every bone in my body.
i dont hate him, and its his fault becuz he started talking to me..so yea im weak and he kissed my ass so good that i cant help it..last nite at like 10 his dumb ass was like hey wanna be my valentine..i was like way to be a jackass..thats why i was mad in the first place..lol..but he decided that im a bitch and hes an asshole so were perfect for eachother.
my dad got me stuff for Vday and so did my aunt and stuff too. good times.
got my pink rose. theyre my favorite flower and every1 knos it.
even tho i was sick and it was kinda lame..i got to sleep a lot and miss more school.
anyways..i havent eaten in 2days and im so hot..im going to lay down and try to eat some soup. ♥

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this is me being conceited..get over it.. [13 Feb 2005|11:09pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

let me start this by letting u all know that this is going to show me as an ass..get over it or dont read.

anyways..i could have any guy i wanted..lets just face it. any guys ive wanted ive had. so tell me why the 2 guys that i really actually had any type of feeling for or actually spent more than a week or a month on both decided that they were assholes and had no confidence in themselves or were too scared to do anything about it. i had that stupid crap where u think its fine to keep having me wait. i kno what i want but they never do. guys are retarded. yep. RETARDED. why do i constantly get "u could do better", "ur perfect, ur intimidating", "u make me nervous"..i kno its impossible to see but im not perfect and how the hell am i intimidating?? right.
so i think i am just giving up on every1. im done. ur all lame.
i hate the way this is..i hate him. i really hate him.
im dissapointed..after all that happened the first time with that lovely 1st asshole...we have asshole number two..who really is a sweet guy..hes just uncertain, a coward, and way too unaware of anything for me to deal with.
do u remember that time when dennis ran halfway to my house at 1am..and he lives in kenmore..and i called him and told him to go home becuz i couldnt have ppl there...that night matt came over and i didnt want dennis here becuz i wanted to hang out with him...i should have let him run over here..i picked the asshole.
i need John Mayer. He would be my perfect man. ♥

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[13 Feb 2005|08:43pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

u kno whats so cool..being sad.
and watching the grammys cheered me up..becuz adam sandler gave me a few orgasms. i wish i could marry him and have his babies. that would be hot.
i need this week to be over and for vacation to start. thank jeebers.
i luv my valentine..aunt jo..she bought me chocolates and a card. isnt she so sweet. <3333

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smashing.. [13 Feb 2005|12:27pm]
[ mood | pessimistic ]

so my weekend was craptastic..not just crappy..but craptastic. i loved it.
but i did get to put firetruck red highlites in my hair..once again if i had a cam i coulg show but i cant..so just imagine it.
its called wildfire and its by manic panic..that means under a black light..my red hair glows..ahahhahahaha. thats swell.
but its only really small highlites.
my brother came home too this weeked..leaves tonite..
we hung out friday..went to jacquies sisters house played scategories..lol
him and mike spent last nite together and then we watched mona lisa smile for the 6th time and napolean dynamite.
but thru all of this starting friday nite.i basically yelled at my matt and refused to talk to him..i decided really some1 that makes me happy really makes me sad at the same time. its going nowhere and i needed alicia and matt to get me to finally agree on that. hes pointless. hes so afraid of everything. im not intimidating and im not perfect so stop using that as a copout. he always gives up so easily. i cant handle another however many months of just waiting and wasting time. he doesnt kno anything. nice life.
i had a good tear in my eye for a second but i got over it. he had the nerve to ask me what i wanted becuz he never wanted this to happen..i shoulda seen it comming. boys are stupid.
i need a new boy. and that is that..ricky and Xtina are comming over today..my aunts here..then matts leaving and hopefully next week im going to rochester to visit him. i need to go out tonite. <333

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i kno u didnt even get to ponder and make a decision about the prior entry...but this has to happen. [10 Feb 2005|10:37pm]
[ mood | cynical ]

i need to let u kno what i want. yep.
1) I want a chinchilla.
2) I want a barbie dream house.
3) I want to eat normal food with grease dripping off of it.
4) I want matt to stop being nervous because of me.
5) I want new lingerie.
6) I want to be a jetson.
7) I want to be able to smoke everywhere and any time.
8) I want to knit more scarves.
9) I want to be so tan, you'd think I was a different nationality.
10) I want to go to a lesbian bar.
11) I want to go to California.
12) I want to be 18 already.
13) I want to graduate yesterday.
14) I want to never speak to 96% of the people that I go to school with ever again after graduation.
15) I want people to stop being so trashy-mctrashers.
16) I want to be blonder or all blonde again.
17) I want to be rich or marry rich.
18) I want alphabet soup.
19) I want to move out.
20) I want to do a really hot famous guy.
21) I want to be able to drink pepsi.
22) I want a certain girl to stop sweating all over me.
23) I want to make-out and rape with jay letto.
24) I want to make-out and do britney spears and paris hilton..at the same time.
25) I want to get wasted and make-out with a hot lesbian..not a butch one.
26) I want to dance on more tables.
27) I want an apple fritter.
28) I want a black SUV.
29) I want Noah Wyle.
30) I want to walk around wearing my bra and panties every min. of my life.
*31) I want Caroline Hurley.

ok so theres some of what i want right now. i just started thinking about lesbians because of the OC and i really want to go to Roxy's.
My brothers comming home for the weekend..i just found out and im really happy. ur jealous u dont have a cool brother like mine. urs prolly smokes crack or eats babies. ♥

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I NEED EVERY1S INPUT..THAT MEANS U! [10 Feb 2005|02:22pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

I am having a revelation.
I am going through many withdrawls.
I miss my blonde crazy trashy hair.
I feel like i just need to add even more blonde.
If i had my digital i could post and u could really get a good idea..but guess what i dont.
I need to buy my own..one that matt cant take.
BUT so tell me..HOW SHOULD I do my hair?
shall i just add more blonde..or just dye it all blonde again.
I need ur help.
I swear i do.
And then i'm working out and surviving on rice cakes, applesauce, broth, oatmeal, carrots, and egg whites.
Most of those are only 1 pt..applesauce might be 2..and carrots are zero!
Weight watchers is my hero.
Today so far..i had 2 rice cakes, then i ran and burned off 212 calories for now..the rice cakes only had 60 each..i feel like a champ..but thats only so far..i think i might have running bulimia..hey its better than regular straight up bulmia.
Basically I'm going to keep saving my money and buy a new wardrobe in the summer.
It'll work.
I have $25 to my name as of now. Oh oh i'm rolling in the money..
I really want to go tanning again too..i feel like its been at least 3weeks without a tanning experience. Withdrawls once again.
I'm going to be so much hotter once summer rolls in here.
If u thought i was sexy before..oh u just wait.
"I kno i can, be what i wanna be..if i work hard at it, ill be where i wanna be."
Thats my new motto. Who sang that..i was going to say Kanye but i kno its wrong..is it Nas?
Thats a dumb name too..so's 50cent. i hate that.
Sarah coyne stole my calculator..im gonna kick her ass tomorrow..a $90 calculator isnt meant to be stolen by a scumbag. she doesnt even shower. she has the biggest ass ive ever seen too. i better get it back or shes buying me a new one.
Rose totally tried to gorund me becuz i didnt go to school again. Hey she called me in.
I had to clean my room..but i did..shyt i have laundry to get.

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innapropriate business.. [09 Feb 2005|06:57pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

alicia just went to go make brownies! im living vicariously thru her..considering im on weight watchers with joelle..we decided we could do it. i just wanna lose a little bit of weight and get to like 115 for now. thats hot.
melissa cant go out and we were gonna go tanning..but o well ill just have to buy a week later. i got my grades and i did splendidly..so wondeful that my mom took away me having to be home at like 10 on a school night..i can go out on school nights and whenever. i went from a 79 to a 97 in religion. lol who does that..its becuz i got a 98 on the exam and went to every class this semester. 5pts get taken off every time ur not there..i wasnt there 4 times. hot. and my overall average went up 4pts. so basically im cool. only like 54 days of school left!! yay!! and we get 2 spring breaks basically..we have 1 from feb 19-29 and then another week off when every1 else does in march.
i told matt he was a lot of work and he asked if it was worth it..i said yea but i wasnt sure at the same time..then he told me i was beautiful and all that so yea..its worth it. i wanna go to rochester.
i wanna go out..i hate how i can always go out and do whatever and no1 else can. were like 17-18..seriously some of their parents are donzo.
i hate that goddamn candyshop song. 50cent is so stupid. danielle sings it everyday and thats the only time i like it..becuz its so funny when she sings. other than that..its dumb.
Paris is on tonite..woooo..she turns me on. ♥

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lower class trash. [06 Feb 2005|02:30pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

i think im gonna see wat matts doing tonite so he can watch philli kick some ass.
my purse is amazing still and i treat it like a baby..my dad rocks.
last nite was fun..went out for a little bit..i want a blue prom dress or a white one..really poofy but tight at the top. it would be hot.
get a life. ♥

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best day ever.. [05 Feb 2005|12:44am]
[ mood | loved ]

i had the best day ever..my daddy shipped me the paris hilton purse they stopped making in december..he came home from germany. i love him. its amazing. im so spoiled..im so thankful. this purse is gorgeous. he was comming home tonite anyways but he still had a package delivered before he came home to surprise me. i love my daddy. then matt came and got me and alicia at like 11 or something and we went to see his dads band play. his mom is sooo cute. shes awesome. hes awesome. i sweat him. i love every1 right now. ♥

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moron. [03 Feb 2005|07:47pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

yesterday i went to the pet store to get my bros keys so i could go to his house..no1 was working cept desiree (or however u spell that name) and some other guys..i was like is matt here? they were like no and werent even nice to me..so i had to call matt and then he gave me the wrong keys anyway.
hes gorgeous..his new piercing is so hot.
i told him i wanted a kitten..we would name him james bond. commander for short. and he would wear a bowtie. he said maybe we can get one. i kinda want him to get me a bunny when they start having real animals at the store. they get mice and crap next week or something. i want a bunny. i really want a puppy but he said no.
i was at my bros house last nite..john made me and my mom dinner. i had a little bit to eat. it was ok..some chicken thing.
anyways..i didnt go to school yesterday i told rose i wanted to sleep all day and do some laundry. in school i like did nothing but color in numbers..me and danielle made a countdown poster til graduation..58 days left.
and u prolly have more like 90..sucks to be u.
in spanish me and joelle looked at pics while every1 watched some movie on ecuador..all of my classes are so pointless. we do nothing at that school. all i do is sleep and harass teachers and color and walk around the school singing and barefoot.
apparently natalie called alicia with this brilliant idea to get a stripper and have a sex toy hotel party. all i could think is trashy. apparently she talked to ashley kubek and she wants to hang out with all of us again or something. and shes dating phil ruffino! i couldnt get over it. phil ruffino days..he was such a weird kid. anywho..i guess i should go. ♥

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[01 Feb 2005|11:54pm]
[ mood | bored ]

so..dieting is going good finally..yay to getting down to 105-110..hopefully..big goal..hard goal..but i kno i can do it..plus i have support..kind of bad support becuz he doesnt really help..but its ok.
basically to keep myself busy i keep throwing out clothes and doing laundry..every few mins i get really happy that as soon as i graduate i can throw out every ugly thing i own that i wear to school becuz i have to.
thats really exciting..after may i can buy a whole new wardrobe. my daddy called from germany earlier and i told him how my mom went shopping the day after he left and bought herself clothes and a purse..so he said when he comes back we'll see..hopefully new stuff..and the purse ive been wanting. my moms going out of town again too in like 2 months..i cant wait..last time my dad gave me $250 and let me go shopping.
i want to go run right now but my moms sleeping and the treadmill is above her room. thats no good.
i went on a fast for like a day..but today in school i ate a bagel and every1 kept tellin me to eat cuz my stomach was so loud..lol. so i had some a frap and soup and a few raspberries when i got home.
Starting tomorrow i think im just gonna do a negative calory diet..i think ill bring like blackberries to school or something..it really upsets me that my mom wont let me get a reduction..my chest is like over powering everything and makes me look bigger than i am..it just looks disproportioned.
i cant wait til my dad gets back here..i hate when hes gone..but i still have money so im ok for now..lol. ♥

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thats right, thats right! [31 Jan 2005|02:32pm]
[ mood | bored ]

im a survey whore..taken from my brother.Collapse )

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"lets go build a clitoris!"..i love nip/tuck [30 Jan 2005|10:14pm]
[ mood | devious ]

i was boredddddd.Collapse )

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i just heard a really big bang... [30 Jan 2005|01:12pm]
[ mood | silly ]

matt has been so good..the other night he called me at like 12 and was at wegmans. then he said he'd call back..but he didnt so instead he texts me 'and was like sorry gorgeous my parents got home and i had do something'. and then i talked to him friday and found out hes stressed cuz his grandpas in the hosp. so i called him and we talked for like an hr..meaning he really talked for like 10mins all together and listened to me..lol..but last nite he talked for quite some time and he wasnt drunk so i was happy. usually talks a lot when he was drinking but he was fine. and he was like the only way im getting thru this week is becuz of u and that he was going to have a miserable night cuz i wasnt there. lol..why is he so wonderful? oh yea we both decided were the 2 hottest ppl on the earth. it really pays to have some1 who is superficial too. haha..oh and he got his rook pierced..i need to see it.
so enough about that..me melissa and alicia went out friday..then mary and vinny and alicia came over my house last nite. so that was fun..mary ate grape nuts in my bed and got them all over the place. alicia ate chips in my bed and got those everywhere. every1 goes in my bed and eats apparently. vinny pierced his own nipple and had like a girls hoop earing on it..i thought it was a joke and then i touched it and it wasnt....ew.
i tried to braid vins hair but it was too much work and it was sooo ugly. so i straightened mar's..then we just chilled. they made fun of "Ryan" haha..they said she looked like a man. they kept looking at her pic of us on my wall and calling her ryan. that was kinda mean. but funny.
the friggen rode their bikes here lol.
um..me and alicia watched our show "talk sex with sue"..then she went home..i woke up this morning and no1s here so im confuze..gonna call my mom in a bit. ♥

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[27 Jan 2005|11:30pm]
[ mood | artistic ]

ive decided i want to become a make-up artist too.
i need new pictures of me..i think i look different.
ive decided to try and grow some eyebrows. i hope it works..ive been drawing them on for the past 4yrs. they refuse to grow all the way. it was fun but i need some genuine eyebrows. haha.
i want to go tanning again..i havent been in like 3weeks. i need it in my life.
i wish i had my digital but no matt takes it and it doent work here anyways. i think i might buy myself one. or tell my dad. i got my pics from charity ball finally and damn we look so hot. theres a pic of me and matt in there too..god could we be any more attractive. i started to become conceited again. itll only bite me in the ass but im really happy with everything right now. life cant get any more perfect. its impossible. i cant wait to leave highschool and just grow up and open my own salon, live in my own house, have my own dog, be successful, i want it all. i cant wait. ♥

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,sjeisakmkfjo; [27 Jan 2005|05:19pm]
[ mood | loved ]

ashlee simpsons show SUCKED. Newlyweds is the worst thing ever. Those ppl need to be fired. no wonder nick wants to divorce he dumb ass. Sports Illustrated is my hobby..that alicia girl needs to be kicked off already. PARIS HILTON!! where can i start. Her and Nicole are so hot. I watched E! last night too with like some story on them both..Nicole should just be her own person..they showed her like not trying to be all "Paris-y" and shes even hotter. I mean i love Paris but it only works for her. Nicole is really hot when she does her own thing. Paris is orgasmic. How trashy was that family in brooklyn? and those ugly dogs they bought for the jersey family. lol..
My matt picked me up today from my law final. He took down the tampons and so i put them back up..better not do it again.
Tonight i need to go out. Joelle wants to go to the bar Sat. night. so hopefully we'll do that. My dogs having a nightmare. its really funny not waking him up.
I need to dry my hair and touch up my make-up. Its so cold. My gramma wouldnt pick me up like at all this week cuz she didnt wanna remove all the snow on her car. she really needs that washed. lol..i luv her car, totally not a gramma car. i picked it out. its burnt orange. its so hot. she just needs to get that taken care of.
how about today Kristin kept touching my hair and saying "omg i found a pic like urs and so im getting it done exactly like urs becuz i luv it" then after the exam her and janelle come over and kristin goes "janelle look my hairs gonna be like this!! i cant wait"..i was like i havent washed my hair in 3days..way to touch it. lol..she was like i dont even care can u take a picture so i can make sure its just like it? that def freaked me out. i was like uh no. lol
apparently dirty hair is the new rage.
im off to dry this hair now. ♥

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stop copying my life..boy..u need to get shot. [26 Jan 2005|07:11pm]
[ mood | predatory ]

john mayer!!!! ok so im listening to him..he is my world.
everytime i say something..it comes back around and u do the exact same thing..ur a weirdo. and ur starting to scare me.
"from mix drinks to techno beats, shes heavy into everything.."
matts ring fell off my finger when i washed my hair today..it flew in the air and hit the sink..i thought i broke something. i moved it onto my thumb.
rosie came home today and goes did u pass..i just laughed. john said something about him buying a restaurant and wanting me to work there. i remember one time he wanted to open his own winery and he wanted me to be the wine serving girl so that theyd get more customers. im inluv with him. im convinced he is the straightest gay man ive ever met.
my kitchen is looking hotter and hotter, yea still not done..we cant rush perfection..the amount of money we spend over here..
im inluv with melie bianco more and more every day.
she keeps a toothbrush at my place, as if i had the extra space..she steals my clothes to wear to work..i kno her hairs are on my shirts.."
so i bought this beater from A&F and its navy and it was only like $20..i think i need every color..i might have to go buy them. i love the little moose on everything. he's so cute.
im sposed to do them laundry but im gonna have my dad do it. i dont feel like it. i kinda wanna go run. i might just do that.
i was going through all my clothes and throwing out things i dont want last nite..and putting things in bags for the poor. i have a lot of ugly things. i even found some paris blues..haha!! and then i found all these gross tops from when i was like 12-13 and went to clubs. man that was embarassing. i have this one shirt that was from like rainbow and said like some stupid phrase on it. i threw that out. i dont want the poor wearing that either.
I found this leather skirt too..what the fuck was i thinking.
i have all this playboy crap too. some of my hoodies and tees are ok..but damn.
i had a few shirts with a rave tag on them..havent been able to fit in those for like a good solid 3yrs..theyre like smalls and i cant even put half a chest in them. i have like 11dresses too. i need to sell them or something. i havent even worn 4of them. any1 needs a prom dress or anything i have ones i just bought for fun.
my top drawer is full of panties. i told matt thats the next thing hes getting in his car. panties. any1 else really like that word? or is it just me..say it..PANTIES!
every 2weeks or so im putting a new object in his car. its a good conversation piece i think. i cant wait for graduation and college already. my law final is morrow then govt. starts with a new teacher. toby kicked our asses to the curb.
its weds. night..i luv wednesdays. project runway..sports illustrated..all those good shows. i think mtv should give up. theyre being over taken. VH1 is even way better than them. Any1 see Britneys new video tho..i had to watch TRL yesterday to listen to her voice on the phone and see her 1 time obly video shown. that song is so bad, but i still love her. she could have picked a better 1 off her greatest hits man. that cd is a good portion of my life.
my dog's barking like crazy.
Oh yea me and Damien Rice have become best friends. every1 needs to listen to him..give him a chance.
"im not alone, i wish i was..cuz then id know i was down becuz.."
mr. john mayer stop making me feel so good.
i wanna marry john mayer. our kids would be gorgeous.
i wish my brother would give me those friggin pictures from new years some day soon..before 2006 rolls in. its been quite some time..and yea my film is still at the place..its been a solid 2weeks or something..my dad better get them for me before he leaves saturday.
i think this is starting to become an overwhelmingly long entry. ♥

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grrrrrrrrrrreeeaaaattt! [26 Jan 2005|12:13pm]
[ mood | busy ]

we all know damn well i woke up today and decided..hey next week ill get my permit...yep..knew i wasnt gonna start the whole independent revelation yet..
i had to write that awful paper..i did the minimum requirements and made it a point to keep writing in that this is just an opinion of the catholic church. i think i didnt agree with not even 1 point they had to make. the pope is on crack. ♥

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dont tell me.. [26 Jan 2005|12:05am]
[ mood | cold ]

apparently regardless of everything im not going to rochester this weekend..what a huge let down.
last night my matt was even like if u do good on ur english exam ill drive there after work (which means hed go to rochester at like midnight) and spend the night with u there and hang out with u guys, and ill buy u something if u do well.
aww..too bad ill wait to go visit my brother..i fuckin hate when he goes back..lol im always like omg! i have to tell matt this or something..then by thenext time i talk to him god knows i forgot..i luv hanging out with my brother hes such a great person..i miss u and luv u!
basically ive come to the conclusion that im overly spoiled. im going tomorrow to finally get my permit (i think). i mean i dont have a job, i dont want/need one. i didnt get my permit becuz i didnt need that either. this is gonna sound so bad but every1 does like practically everything i ask them to. anything i want for the most part, somebody has given to me. i need to start relying on lindsay..but i prolly will take small steps in that direction. its hard giving up being treated like a princess, i cant help it..what would u do?
i think ashlee simpson is gross. somebody please stop her. im watching her show right now..shes so embarassing. everytime she tries to sing it sounds like some1 is being tortured. her radio songs are okay..but her live is another story..they must edit her shit a lot. shes so unattractive too..i think she ressembles cameron diaz. shes homely. sign this--> http://stopashlee.com/

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if i hurt an ankle what would u do? [24 Jan 2005|11:03pm]
[ mood | shivering ]

my girl is on..it gets me all teary eyed.

if i hurt myself matt said he'd smile...but he fixed it with good reasoning.
MATTtheSarcastic: well im not smiling because im happy .. . im smiling .. because .. just because .. i always smile .. i started laughing when my car got hit .. its a defense mechanism .. i have to smile or laugh to prevent myself from becoming too depressed at the thought of you in pain

i NEED to study. i cant concentrate!
im messing with aaron right now..hes so weird..i luv fuckin around with him..he always thinks im serious and then is like no im 24 im friends with ur brother..no its not right..just no. lol
KrowMagnon: your just like your oldest brother, always smoking crack
x playette 18: dont compare me to ricky im better looking
KrowMagnon: that is true

falala..im so bored and lethargic right now..like i dont wanna move..i dont wanna do anything..just stare off and just i wish it was summer. i need summer. i need it yesterday. i need the beach. i need the tan body. i need the bare skin. i need the smell. i need everything about the summer.

alicias bathing suit was returned today..VS needs to send her the right top she ordered..tankinis are not okay to be worn by alicia..we need her in a string top..becuz she has the perfect upper body. its so true.

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